YouTube is Hard

So, I started doing more videos for YouTube, and in this latest batch of product reviews (some LED lights for photography and videography), I actually appear in the video. For those folks who just watch YouTube and see the various 'YouTubers' talking, demonstrating, etc., you wouldn't think just how difficult it is for someone to film themselves, and put your image, voice, hell - your whole person out there for all to see.

For someone who can't even stand to listen to their own voice on a recording, this is doubly difficult. You find yourself second-guessing everything you say, everything you do, how you look, and even who you are. "Am I good enough?", you ask yourself. "Do I know what I'm talking about?" There are tons of questions you end up asking yourself. Then, when you finally get something posted and move on, you see that you got a 'Thumbs Up', and you feel good, until you see a 'Thumbs down'. Those suck.

You start to ask yourself why did you get a Thumbs Down? Is it the content? Is it the product (since I have been heavy on product reviews)? Or is it the Fraggle Rock T-shirt I was wearing? Nah, no one Thumbs down a Fraggle. No one sane, anyway.

Anyway, I better get used to appearing in my videos, as I've started a whole new channel (thefictionscribe) on YouTube, and it's going to be 90+% vlog-style where I'm just going to be talking to the camera. The new channel is going to me mostly updates on my writing projects, writing and publishing information, and writing tips for those interested in creative writing.

I haven't created any videos for that channel yet, as it's a whole ordeal getting everything set up to film. I film in the dining room at my house, and all my equipment was built, by me, to break down for storage. It's all piled up on shelves, standing up in the corners, and tucked behind the easy chair in the bedroom. Needless to say, I have to set up the equipment the night before I film. I do the filming, break everything down, and upload the raw video on that second day. I then spend free time the following few days to get the video (and sometimes audio) edited for upload to YouTube. I don't have studio lights, something that I desperately need, but I've been hesitant to spend the $100-$200 that the lighting will cost, owing to the costs of getting my writing project completed. The lighting will make a HUGE difference in the quality of my videos, but I just can't pull the trigger on it at this point. Eventually, I will though.